Transvestia

The next day, I was out again buying a new wardrobe. (I might say at this point that I never was really embarassed about buying feminine things. I always figured that it really wasn't the clerks business to question my motives for purchasing any item. True, sometimes they would act cool or some other lady customer would give me a funny look. It would only make me angry. After all, a great many women buy underwear and everything else for their husbands.) I would say that during the next two years I bought and destroyed at least $500 worth of clothing.

I would smuggle my things into the car, take off and while driving, make a complete change, girdle and bra included. After making sure that I was pass- able, I would do any number of crazy things. Like going to a show, sitting in the ladies room, going to dinner, going to midnight mass, shopping, walking right down the local business district, going into shops and buying a bra or anything feminine, walking by my friends who knew me as a man. I enjoyed it in- tensely and hated myself intensely in the morning. In fact, some times it didn't take until the morning. Many times, I would be driving along and start rever- sing my attire. All of a sudden, I'd start deliber- ately ripping every item off, completely ruining every stitch of clothing. Then I'd feel clean and make my promise to God to mend my ways. On one such occasion, I threw each item out the window as I rip- ped it off. The next day, over the radio, it was reported that foul play was feared because the police had discovered all this ripped clothing. I felt rather guilty about causing the police all that con- cern but I wasn't about to call them up and explain the situation to them. I'm thankful that littering wasn't such a big crime as it is today. After a session of disposing of my clothing, I could usually stay away from dressing, for about a week or two. Then a fresh beginning but usually more intense than the last siezure. After destroying at least five complete outfits, I found myself being remorseful for the destruction, at shorter shorter intervals.